Postmortem: Covert Affairs 1×07

25 Aug

YOU GUYS. I AM AWESOME YOU GUYS.  Or more likely, last night’s Covert Affairs was predictable as fuck.  Not that I’m complaining, really—I thought it was the best episode so far.  But it proved not one, not two, but seven! (and a half)! of my predictions correct.  There are a few reasons for this—there are quite a few tropes associated with disabled characters that were bound to pop up one day, and since this was the Auggie episode they all popped up here; a lot more stuff happened this week than in previous weeks (seriously, that was a lot of plot); and finally, I’m super awesome.  But before we get to why, let’s talk about the episode itself.

Sometimes when shows premiere and a secondary character is a lot more popular with the fans than the lead, when focus switches to the side character it becomes clear that they were best in small doses (Urkel on Family Matters, inevitably Brittany next season on Glee).  This is clearly not the case on Covert Affairs.  A lot of people have been saying that last night’s episode felt really filmic, which is true.  In fact, I felt like we got gypped out of an entire movie about Auggie.  I would so much rather be watching a series about him.

And it seems like, just to underscore that, Annie got so much worse this week.  Spies sometimes use sex or relationships to obtain information? What?!  NO.  You can’t have everyone every week keep saying “that Annie Walker is good” and then have her be so dumb.  (Also dumb:  thinking it’s ok for her to have pictures of herself all over the internet.  They don’t teach a class on internet security at The Farm?)  She’s way too Pollyanna-ish to be interesting right now.  Far more intriguing is the ethical gray area that Auggie’s in, in my opinion.  More of that, please.

I also noticed that Covert Affairs has taken the old White Collar strategy of, when something in the plot doesn’t make sense, deploy hot shirtless guy so no one will care.  I’m certainly fine with that.  There was a lot in last night’s episode that didn’t make sense—for example, after the gun shot, Auggie had time to beat up two bad guys, get dressed, find an exit, talk to his ex, yell at her after she jumped off the train, and head back inside before Annie and Jai, who were in the middle of the train running in his direction, found him?  That must be the longest train EVER.  But yet, I do not care, because:


But enough of the drooling, on to my awesomeness.

You might remember a few posts back, I said “Auggie is totally banging Liza Hearn”?  And then last week, I said “the walk of shame that Auggie was on in the beginning was from Liza Hearn’s apartment”?  Well, BOOYAH.  I’ve seen other people on the internet be shocked! about this.  To which I say, really?  I thought it was pretty much the most obvious thing ever.  I thought it was an interesting twist that he’s only doing it for intel, but to be honest, I was a little disappointed.  I thought it would be far more interesting if he was sleeping with her because he actually liked her.  And why shouldn’t he?  They’ve made it clear that he doesn’t disagree with her politics, and she’s smart, ambitious, awesome at her job, and hot.  Why shouldn’t he want to tap that?  I know they want to keep him as much of a perfect woobie as possible for Annie (which, by the way, between the jealousy and the stuff about her trusting him, they are pushing that ship hard and fast), but there’s nothing wrong with some complexity.

In win #2, you’ll remember that before the first episode, I predicted that “Christopher Gorham will have to go undercover at some point”, and after that came true in the first episode, I predicted that “this will happen at least three more times”.  Technically this is the third.  The soccer game in “South-Bound Suarez” was the first, going to the con was the second, and seducing Liza Hearn was the third.  It is a bit of a stretch to count two in one episode, but I’ll take it.  Keep in mind, when I wrote that prediction, I didn’t know that Auggie wanting to be out in the field would be a plotline, which of course mean he wouldn’t go out into the field.  I still think next season he’ll see more field work.

I also predicted that “Piper Perabo’s living situation will be needlessly shit.  (I’m guessing she’s living with her sister’s family and it’s comically awful, even though she presumably makes a decent amount of money.)  Christopher Gorham’s living situation will be needlessly awesome (sweet-ass apartment, probably.)”  As I’ve said, the guest house isn’t that bad, but still unnecessary.  And that is certainly a sweet-ass apartment.  BAM.  I KNEW IT.

Also, “there will be a gag where someone rearranges Christopher Gorham’s office furniture”.  KABLAMMO. SAW IT COMING.

And last week, “we’ll get some angsty!Auggie quite soon”.  ANGST ALL OVER THE PLACE.  Angst is a good color on Christopher Gorham, by the way.  Sexy, shirtless angst.

Additionally, “there will be some sort of wacky hijinks involving Auggie’s girlfriend(s)”.  YEP.  I’d say that seducing them for intel sufficiently qualifies as hijinks, but Annie finding Liza’s stocking, then hearing the phone shout “LIZA HEARN, LIZA HEARN, LIZA HEARN” is kind of wacky.  I was expecting more wackiness, but what are you gonna do.

I also guessed that “Auggie has a deep dark secret in his past that will cause tension with Annie”.  I suppose he deep dark secret in his present—ie, boning Liza—caused more tension, but dating an anarchist and breaking up with her because of protocol works too.

And finally, my half-right prediction was that we’d get “an Auggie in Peril episode”. He was in peril, but also kicked ass.  But he got smacked around enough I’d say it counts.

Did you guys like the episode/shirtlessness as much as I did?  Let me know in the comments.


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